Let me be honest

Let me be honest with you all . I am watching the Yankee game right now and I have to reflect on the whole Mitchell Report. It kind of pisses me off that our government looked into the MLB for steroids. Let’s be truthful here yea ok some people in baseball did steroids, a lot of people could not tell. On the other hand the sport of bodybuilding and other sports such as the strong man and pro-wrestling it is obvious that these guys are juicing. I mean how would jay cutler (Mr.) look on capital hill claiming that he has never used an anabolic substance or HGH. If the government is going to get involved in one sport they should go after them all. It is because they haven’t been doing their job that someone like me would even have to think of using steroids. Arnold admits he once used steroids , he really hasn’t done anything in California to stop them. He of all people should know what me and anyone else who wants to be a great bodybuilder feels . In fact what anyone in a professional sport feels like. It also really pisses me off Joe Weider , even though I do respect and look up to him , does nothing to make sure his sport is not corrupted. I believe Arnold said once that he tried doing a natural show but the crowd didn’t like it. So maybe it is society’s fault ? The question to become the one to change this or to join the ranks still hangs over my head …….

The man and the beast.

Inside my head there is a battle going on. A battle between evil and good. Let me explain. Ever since I was born I always idolized the big guy. I never wanted to be a king I always wanted to be knight. A warrior. It must have something to do with my father being a typical blue collar, he didn’t make much money. He still doesn’t but he was always strong. I have always choosen brawns over brains. I’ll explain more about my past later though. What this will be about is my journey. You see I am addicted to IRON and no not the chemical. Since I was 14 I wanted to be MR. O. I have dedicated my life to bodybuilding. I have choosen it over friends, jobs, , school and yes even girl. No I am not gay. It’s something I was born to do. Here is the catch though. Right now I am a 100% natural. I have always been big for my age but a puberty wore off so did my gains. Now I used to think the guys in the O like Cutler ,Ruhl, Coleman and Yates where natrual. All through high school I wanted to be like them . I wanted to be big .  Well obuvisly i have found out that these guys didn’t win on gentics. I want to be big . I want to be big so bad that I would give up anything to become it. Now before you think its easy don’t juice. That’s not the case. Imagine what you wanted most in the world was in your reach in your grasp and slowly it pulled away. It could be a child if your infertile , money if your poor and love if you alone. If living up on a mountain with no human contact would help me grow I would do it in heart beat.

Back before prohoromones where illegal I bought some. I have not used them . Since the ban the have remained hidden waiting and calling to be used. Everytime life kicks my ass. Everytime I see someone who is putting a half ass effort and getting better results then me. I get the primal crave to go for it. I have found comfort by making a promise to myself I would stay natural…. natural untill 21. Since then things have changed. I want to stay natrual but I also want to be a freak.   Now My 21st birthday is a week away….. time is running up . The sand is almost completely on the bottom of the hour glass. If I am going to become the monster I want to be I need to start soon. On this page I will share my story with you. Both the good and the bad but only the truth. I shall not go by real name and I will not use others. You will how ever hear everything.

Does being dedicated meaning sacrificing everything , including your health  or does it mean doing what has never been done ?

So it begins.